The right time hasn't really occured and he has made it quite clear that he is only after one thing. And I know that I don't think of him in a romantic way, but it would be nice to be chased by someone who wanted me for more than just a rumble in the bedchamber.
So I have been distracting myself with friends and family. I had the most delightful night with my Lords and Ladies (a few of which were noticeably missed) drinking the night away and catching up after the last few months. Nothing too scandalous was discussed, though there was much evading of certain subjects... Mainly the Duke. I'm intrigued as to what it is I'm not supposed to know.
My birthday came up quite a lot and I think we are to travel to the Spa and have a decadent day with much champagne and strawberries. Though raspberries are a personal favourite!
Had a strange scribbled note from the Court Jester asking if I'd ever kissed a certain Apothecary but I'm afraid he is much mistaken! I wonder if he made up the rumour just to get in contact with me? I do miss him, there is no one like the Court Jester here in the Shire; everyone is far too refined and distinguished to mess around like the two of us do together. The same could be said for the Gameskeeper, Brewer, and of course Belle, (I'm doing my best not to mention the musician), for there is none of the same camaraderie as there is up in the North and I miss them all greatly.
I do love being back in the Shire and it will always be my home, but I almost feel that I am out growing it. I'm not sure how to explain it really, but there are certain things that just remind me of my childhood and I'd prefer them to stay that way rather than become an integral part of my life...
As well a being Good Friday, today is also the anniversary of my Grandmother's death and I truly miss her. She was such an elegant lady, so kind and generous and the patient Mother to six children.
It makes me laugh to think that I can barely look after myself and she was so perfect.
Though I suppose it would be more correct to say that she was Mother to seven... Or at least gave birth to seven children. Soon after her death, a decade ago, we found out that she'd had a child out of wedlock. It was quite the scandal, especially as the daughter arrived at the funeral. No one faults my Grandmother, no one could, she had a heart of gold, but I think it strained the relationship between her husband, Grandpa and his children. Though Father refuses to admit it.
I've never really delved into my history before but it seems that my Grandparents, on both sides, were not so innocent as I once thought. I don't mean anything as treachorous as murder or incest, but lying and coercion? I don't think that can be denied...
D. S.
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